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Friday, April 29, 2005

Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Casino
  
Your full house loses to the dealer's six-of-a-kind
They're playing "Will It Float?" in the lobby with a bag of fertilizer
There's a high-stakes table, a low-stakes table, and a kids table
Has strict no-gambling policy
Advertises that its slots are "almost as loose as your wife"
Free buffet is all-you-can-eat lemon wedges
One spin of roulette wheel lasts 7 to 10 days
Their big headliner: The withered corpse of Mel Torme
No Rat Pack, but there are packs of rats.
It has the word "Trump" in the name.
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