DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
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WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Top Ten Messages Left On Jose Canseco's Answering Machine
"Barry Bonds here. Can I get your leftover junk?"
"This is Andy Reid. Thanks for helping people forget
the Eagles choked."
"It's the national baseball hall of fame. Any
hypodermic needles we could display?"
"Jose, could you lift my car so I can change a flat?"
"Bill Buckner here. Welcome to the club."
"It's Bud Selig. Thanks for not making fun of my hair."
"This is President Bush. What's this I hear about me
owning a baseball team in the '90s?"
"Hey, it's your agent--I thought you were dead."
"This is Jim from Jiffy Lube. Are you coming to work
or not?"
"Mark McGwire. Why'd you tell everyone you injected
me in the ass?"
·
"Do you know where i can get low-carb steroids?"
·
"This is Barnes & Noble--does your book go in
non-fiction or fiction?"
·
"Geraldo here. If you're up for a TV interview, I'd
be glad to suck up and pretend you've done nothing wrong."
·
"It's Steve from next door. Some guys are smashing
the windows of your house with bats."
·
"It's Bonds. Didn't we agree we'd say we thought it
was flu shots?"
Kevin James Weighs In Funny guy Kevin James talks about his efforts to lose pounds.
